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To Create Magic, Manage Expectations

Managing expectations is the most important and most challenging aspect of the holiday season. We put enormous pressure on ourselves to create this Dickensian holiday where all the food is perfect and every child is happy, forgetting that we don’t have an entire staff of servants to help us pull it off. So what can…

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When Marriage Sends You Running for Cover: Stonewalling

Pulling again from Dr. Gottman’s excellent book, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, I’ll be concluding my “4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse” series. These are four behaviors that can really harm a marriage: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. This week is all about stonewalling.                 Stonewalling is shutting down…

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When Marriage Sends You Running for Cover: Defensiveness

Pulling from Dr. Gottman’s excellent book, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, I’ll be posting about the “4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse” for the next 4 weeks. These are four behaviors that can really harm a marriage: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. We are in Week 3, which is all about defensiveness. Defensiveness is warding off…

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When Marriage Sends You Running for Cover: Contempt

Pulling again from Dr. Gottman’s excellent book, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, I’ll be posting about the “4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse” for the next 4 weeks. These are four behaviors that can really harm a marriage: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. This week we’re looking at contempt. Contempt is disrespect, scorn, dismissal, etc. Criticism…